|Antya-līlā||Chapter 14: Lord Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's Feelings of Separation from Kṛṣṇa|
Bhaktivedanta VedaBase: Śrī Caitanya Caritāmṛta Antya 14.37
'pāiluń vṛndāvana-nātha, punaḥ hārāiluń
ke mora nileka kṛṣṇa? kāhāń mui āinu'?
pāiluń — I got; vṛndāvana-nātha — the Supreme Lord of Vṛndāvana; punaḥ — again; hārāiluń — I have lost; ke — who; mora — My; nileka — took away; kṛṣṇa — Lord Kṛṣṇa; kāhāń — where; mui āinu — have I come.
Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu said, "I found Kṛṣṇa, the Lord of Vṛndāvana, but I have lost Him again. Who has taken My Kṛṣṇa? Where have I come?"
These are the feelings of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī. First Lord Caitanya felt that He had been taken to Vṛndāvana, where He saw Kṛṣṇa's rāsa dance with the gopīs. Then He was brought to Kurukṣetra to see Lord Jagannātha, His sister (Subhadrā) and Lord Balarāma. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu lost Vṛndāvana and Kṛṣṇa, the master of Vṛndāvana. At this time, Caitanya Mahāprabhu experienced divyonmāda, transcendental madness in separation from Kṛṣṇa. At Kurukṣetra, Kṛṣṇa displays His opulence, whereas in Vṛndāvana He is in His original position. Kṛṣṇa never goes even a step away from Vṛndāvana; therefore Kurukṣetra is less important for the gopīs than Vṛndāvana.
Although devotees who worship Kṛṣṇa in opulence (His Vaikuṇṭha aspect) may prefer to see Lord Kṛṣṇa at Kurukṣetra along with Subhadrā and Balarāma, the gopīs want to see Kṛṣṇa in Vṛndāvana, performing the rāsa dance with Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu showed by practical example how one can cultivate the mood of Rādhārāṇī and the other gopīs in separation from Kṛṣṇa. Devotees absorbed in this mood do not like to see Kṛṣṇa anywhere else but Vṛndāvana. Therefore Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu lamented, "I found Kṛṣṇa in Vṛndāvana, and now I have again lost Him and come to Kurukṣetra." Unless one is a very highly advanced devotee, he cannot understand these intricate feelings. The author of Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, however, has tried to explain this divyonmāda as far as possible, and it is our duty simply to appreciate it as far as possible. Therefore the author has made the following request in verse 11:
tāte viśvāsa kari' śuna bhāvera varṇana
ha-ibe bhāvera jñāna, pāibā prema-dhana
"My dear readers, simply try to hear this description with faith and love. That will help you understand transcendental ecstasy, and at last you will achieve love of Godhead very easily."
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His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda, Founder Ācārya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness