Antya-lilaChapter 14: Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's Feelings of Separation from Krsna

Bhaktivedanta VedaBase: Sri Caitanya Caritamrta

CC Antya 14 Summary

CC Antya 14.1: I shall now describe a very small portion of the activities performed by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu with His mind, intelligence and body when He was bewildered by strong feelings of separation from Krsna.

CC Antya 14.2: All glories to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, the Supreme Personality of Godhead! All glories to Lord Gauracandra, the life and soul of His devotees!

CC Antya 14.3: All glories to Lord Nityananda, who is Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's very life! And all glories to Advaita Acarya, who is extremely dear to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu!

CC Antya 14.4: All glories to Svarupa Damodara and all the other devotees, headed by Srivasa Thakura! Please give me the strength to describe the character of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.

CC Antya 14.5: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's emotion of transcendental madness in separation from Krsna is very deep and mysterious. Even though one is very advanced and learned, he cannot understand it.

CC Antya 14.6: How can one describe unfathomable subject matters? It is possible only if Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu gives him the capability.

CC Antya 14.7: Svarupa Damodara Gosvami and Raghunatha dasa Gosvami recorded all these transcendental activities of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu in their notebooks.

CC Antya 14.8: In those days, Svarupa Damodara and Raghunatha dasa Gosvami lived with Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, whereas all other commentators lived far away from Him.

CC Antya 14.9: These two great personalities [Svarupa Damodara and Raghunatha dasa Gosvami] recorded the activities of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu moment by moment. They described these activities briefly as well as elaborately in their notebooks.

CC Antya 14.10: Svarupa Damodara wrote short notes, whereas Raghunatha dasa Gosvami wrote elaborate descriptions. I shall now describe Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's activities more elaborately, as if fluffing out compressed cotton.

CC Antya 14.11: Please hear faithfully this description of Caitanya Mahaprabhu's ecstatic emotions. Thus you will come to know of His ecstatic love, and ultimately you will achieve love of Godhead.

CC Antya 14.12: When Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu felt separation from Krsna, His condition exactly corresponded to that of the gopis in Vrndavana after Krsna's departure for Mathura.

CC Antya 14.13: The lamentation of Srimati Radharani when Uddhava visited Vrndavana gradually became a feature of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's transcendental madness.

CC Antya 14.14: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's emotions exactly corresponded to those of Srimati Radharani when She met Uddhava. The Lord always conceived of Himself in Her position and sometimes thought that He was Srimati Radharani Herself.

CC Antya 14.15: Such is the state of transcendental madness. Why is it difficult to understand? When one is highly elevated in love of Krsna, he becomes transcendentally mad and talks like a madman.

CC Antya 14.16: "When the ecstatic emotion of enchantment gradually progresses, it becomes similar to bewilderment. Then one reaches the stage of astonishment [vaicitri], which awakens transcendental madness. Udghurna and citra-jalpa are two among the many divisions of transcendental madness."

CC Antya 14.17: One day while He was resting, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu dreamed He saw Krsna performing His rasa dance.

CC Antya 14.18: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu saw Lord Krsna standing with His beautiful body curved in three places, holding His flute to His lips. Wearing yellow garments and garlands of forest flowers, He was enchanting even to Cupid.

CC Antya 14.19: The gopis were dancing in a circle, and in the middle of that circle, Krsna, the son of Maharaja Nanda, danced with Radharani.

CC Antya 14.20: Seeing this, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was overwhelmed with the transcendental mellow of the rasa dance, and He thought, "Now I am with Krsna in Vrndavana."

CC Antya 14.21: When Govinda saw that the Lord had not yet risen, he awakened Him. Understanding that He had only been dreaming, the Lord was somewhat unhappy.

CC Antya 14.22: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu performed His customary daily duties, and at the usual time He went to see Lord Jagannatha in the temple.

CC Antya 14.23: As He viewed Lord Jagannatha from behind the Garuda column, hundreds and thousands of people in front of Him were seeing the Deity.

CC Antya 14.24: Suddenly, a woman from Orissa, unable to see Lord Jagannatha because of the crowd, climbed the column of Garuda, placing her foot on Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's shoulder.

CC Antya 14.25: When he saw this, Caitanya Mahaprabhu's personal servant, Govinda, hastily got her down from her position. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, however, chastised him for this.

CC Antya 14.26: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said to Govinda, "O adi-vasya [uncivilized man], do not forbid this woman to climb the Garuda-stambha. Let her see Lord Jagannatha to her satisfaction."

CC Antya 14.27: When the woman came to her senses, however, she quickly climbed back down to the ground and, seeing Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, immediately begged at His lotus feet for forgiveness.

CC Antya 14.28: Seeing the woman's eagerness, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "Lord Jagannatha has not bestowed so much eagerness upon Me.

CC Antya 14.29: "She has fully absorbed her body, mind and life in Lord Jagannatha. Therefore she was unaware that she was putting her foot on My shoulder.

CC Antya 14.30: "Alas! How fortunate this woman is! I pray at her feet that she favor Me with her great eagerness to see Lord Jagannatha."

CC Antya 14.31: Just previously, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu had been seeing Lord Jagannatha as Krsna, the son of Maharaja Nanda, in person.

CC Antya 14.32: Becoming fully absorbed in that vision, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu had assumed the mood of the gopis, so much so that everywhere He looked He saw Krsna standing with His flute to His lips.

CC Antya 14.33: After seeing the woman, the Lord's external consciousness returned, and He saw the original deity forms of Lord Jagannatha, Subhadra and Lord Balarama.

CC Antya 14.34: When He saw the deities, Lord Caitanya thought He was seeing Krsna in Kuruksetra. He wondered, "Have I come to Kuruksetra? Where is Vrndavana?"

CC Antya 14.35: Lord Caitanya grew very much agitated, like a person who has just lost a recently acquired jewel. Then He became very morose and returned home.

CC Antya 14.36: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu sat down on the ground and began to mark it with His fingernails. He was blinded by tears, which flowed from His eyes like the Ganges.

CC Antya 14.37: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "I found Krsna, the Lord of Vrndavana, but I have lost Him again. Who has taken My Krsna? Where have I come?"

CC Antya 14.38: When Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu dreamed of the rasa dance, He was fully absorbed in transcendental bliss, but when His dream broke, He thought He had lost a precious jewel.

CC Antya 14.39: Thus Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would chant and dance, always absorbed in the bliss of transcendental madness. He carried out the necessities of the body, such as eating and bathing, merely out of habit.

CC Antya 14.40: At night, Lord Caitanya would reveal to Svarupa Damodara and Ramananda Raya the ecstatic feelings of His mind.

CC Antya 14.41: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "At first My mind somehow achieved the treasure of Krsna, but it again lost Him. Therefore it gave up My body and home because of lamentation and accepted the religious principles of a kapalika-yogi. Then My mind went to Vrndavana with its disciples, My senses."

CC Antya 14.42: Having lost His acquired gem, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu became overwhelmed with lamentation by remembering its attributes. Then, grasping the necks of Ramananda Raya and Svarupa Damodara Gosvami, He cried, "Alas, where is My Lord Hari? Where is Hari?" Finally He became restless and lost all patience.

CC Antya 14.43: "My dear friends," He said, "please hear of Krsna's sweetness. Because of a great desire for that sweetness, My mind has given up all social and Vedic religious principles and taken to the profession of begging, exactly like a mystic yogi.

CC Antya 14.44: "The ring of Krsna's rasa-lila, manufactured by Sukadeva Gosvami, the most auspicious craftsman, is as pure as an earring made from a conchshell. The yogi of My mind is wearing that earring upon his ear. From a gourd he has carved out the bowl of My aspirations, and he has taken the bag of My expectations on his shoulder.

CC Antya 14.45: "The yogi of My mind wears the torn quilt of anxiety on his dirty body, which is covered with dust and ashes. His only words are 'Alas! Krsna!' He wears twelve bangles of distress on his wrist and a turban of greed on his head. Because he has not eaten anything, he is very thin.

CC Antya 14.46: "The great yogi of My mind always studies the poetry and discussions of Lord Krsna's Vrndavana pastimes. In Srimad-Bhagavatam and other scriptures, great saintly yogis like Vyasadeva and Sukadeva Gosvami have described Lord Krsna as the Supersoul, beyond all material contamination.

CC Antya 14.47: "The mystic yogi of My mind has assumed the name Mahabaula and made disciples of My ten senses. Thus My mind has gone to Vrndavana, leaving aside the home of My body and the great treasure of material enjoyment.

CC Antya 14.48: "In Vrndavana, he goes from door to door begging alms with all his disciples. He begs from both the moving and the inert inhabitants -- the citizens, the trees and the creepers. In this way he lives on fruits, roots and leaves.

CC Antya 14.49: "The gopis of Vrajabhumi always taste the nectar of Krsna's attributes, His beauty, His sweetness, His aroma, the sound of His flute and the touch of His body. My mind's five disciples, the senses of perception, gather the remnants of that nectar from the gopis and bring them to the yogi of My mind. The senses maintain their lives by eating those remnants.

CC Antya 14.50: "There is a solitary garden where Krsna enjoys His pastimes, and in one corner of a pavilion in that garden, the yogi of My mind, along with his disciples, practices mystic yoga. Wanting to see Krsna directly, this yogi remains awake throughout the night, meditating on Krsna, who is the Supersoul, uncontaminated by the three modes of nature.

CC Antya 14.51: "When My mind lost the association of Krsna and could no longer see Him, he became depressed and took up mystic yoga. In the void of separation from Krsna, he experienced ten transcendental transformations. Agitated by these transformations, My mind fled, leaving My body, his place of residence, empty. Thus I am completely in trance."

CC Antya 14.52: When the gopis felt separation from Krsna, they experienced ten kinds of bodily transformations. These same symptoms appeared in the body of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.

CC Antya 14.53: "The ten bodily transformations resulting from separation from Krsna are anxiety, wakefulness, mental agitation, thinness, uncleanliness, talking like a madman, disease, madness, illusion and death."

CC Antya 14.54: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was overwhelmed night and day by these ten ecstatic conditions. Whenever such symptoms arose, His mind became unsteady.

CC Antya 14.55: After speaking in this way, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu fell silent. Then Ramananda Raya began to recite various verses.

CC Antya 14.56: Ramananda Raya recited verses from Srimad-Bhagavatam, and Svarupa Damodara Gosvami sang of Krsna's pastimes. In this way, they brought Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu to external consciousness.

CC Antya 14.57: After half the night had passed in this way, Ramananda Raya and Svarupa Damodara Gosvami made Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu lie down on His bed in the inner room.

CC Antya 14.58: Then Ramananda Raya returned home, and Svarupa Damodara Gosvami and Govinda lay down in front of the door to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's room.

CC Antya 14.59: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu remained awake throughout the entire night, chanting the Hare Krsna mantra very loudly.

CC Antya 14.60: After some time, Svarupa Damodara could no longer hear Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu chanting. When he entered the room, he found the three doors locked, but Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was gone.

CC Antya 14.61: All the devotees were very anxious when they saw that the Lord was not in His room. They wandered about searching for Him with a warning lamp.

CC Antya 14.62: After searching for some time, they came upon Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu lying in a corner by the northern side of the Simha-dvara gate.

CC Antya 14.63: At first they were overjoyed to see Him, but when they saw His condition, all the devotees, headed by Svarupa Damodara Gosvami, were very anxious.

CC Antya 14.64: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was lying unconscious, and His body had become elongated to five or six cubits. There was no breath from His nostrils.

CC Antya 14.65-66: Each of His arms and legs had become three cubits long; only skin connected the separated joints. The Lord's body temperature, indicating life, was very low. All the joints in His arms, legs, neck and waist were separated by at least six inches.

CC Antya 14.67: It appeared that only skin covered His elongated joints. Seeing the Lord's condition, all the devotees were very unhappy.

CC Antya 14.68: They almost died when they saw Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu with His mouth full of saliva and foam and His eyes turned upward.

CC Antya 14.69: When they saw this, Svarupa Damodara Gosvami and all the other devotees began to chant the holy name of Krsna very loudly into Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's ear.

CC Antya 14.70: After they had chanted in this way for a long time, the holy name of Krsna entered the heart of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, and He suddenly arose with a loud shout of "Haribol!"

CC Antya 14.71: As soon as the Lord returned to external consciousness, all His joints contracted and His entire body returned to normal.

CC Antya 14.72: Srila Raghunatha dasa Gosvami has described these pastimes elaborately in his book Gauranga-stava-kalpavrksa.

CC Antya 14.73: "In the house of Kasi Misra, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would sometimes be greatly aggrieved, feeling separation from Krsna. The joints of His transcendental body would slacken, and His arms and legs would become elongated. Rolling on the ground, the Lord would cry out in distress in a faltering voice and weep very sorrowfully. The appearance of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, awakening in my heart, maddens me."

CC Antya 14.74: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was very much astonished to find Himself in front of the Simha-dvara. He asked Svarupa Damodara Gosvami, "Where am I? What am I doing here?"

CC Antya 14.75: Svarupa Damodara said, "My dear Lord, please get up. Let us go to Your place. There I shall tell You everything that has happened."

CC Antya 14.76: Thus all the devotees, supporting Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, took Him back to His residence. Then they all described to Him what had happened.

CC Antya 14.77: Hearing the description of His condition while He had lain near the Simha-dvara, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was very much astonished. He said, "I do not remember any of these things.

CC Antya 14.78: "All I can remember is that I saw My Krsna, but only for an instant. He appeared before Me and then, like lightning, immediately disappeared."

CC Antya 14.79: Just then, everyone heard the blowing of the conchshell at the Jagannatha temple. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu immediately took His bath and went to see Lord Jagannatha.

CC Antya 14.80: Thus I have described the uncommon transformations of the body of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. When people hear about this, they are very much astonished.

CC Antya 14.81: No one has witnessed such bodily changes elsewhere, nor has anyone read of them in the revealed scriptures. Yet Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, the supreme sannyasi, exhibited these ecstatic symptoms.

CC Antya 14.82: These ecstasies are not described in the sastras, and they are inconceivable to common men. Therefore people in general do not believe in them.

CC Antya 14.83: Raghunatha dasa Gosvami lived continuously with Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. I am simply recording whatever I have heard from him. Although common men do not believe in these pastimes, I believe in them totally.

CC Antya 14.84: One day, while Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was going to the sea to bathe, He suddenly saw a sand dune named Cataka-parvata.

CC Antya 14.85: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu mistook the sand dune for Govardhana Hill and ran toward it.

CC Antya 14.86: [Lord Caitanya said:] "Of all the devotees, this Govardhana Hill is the best! O my friends, this hill supplies Krsna and Balarama, as well as Their calves, cows and cowherd friends, with all kinds of necessities -- water for drinking, very soft grass, caves, fruits, flowers and vegetables. In this way the hill offers respect to the Lord. Being touched by the lotus feet of Krsna and Balarama, Govardhana Hill appears very jubilant."

CC Antya 14.87: Reciting this verse, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu ran toward the sand dune as fast as the wind. Govinda ran after Him, but he could not approach Him.

CC Antya 14.88: First one devotee shouted loudly, and then a tumultuous uproar arose as all the devotees stood up and began to run after the Lord.

CC Antya 14.89: Svarupa Damodara Gosvami, Jagadananda Pandita, Gadadhara Pandita, Ramai, Nandai and Sankara Pandita are some of the devotees who ran after Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.

CC Antya 14.90: Paramananda Puri and Brahmananda Bharati also went toward the beach, and Bhagavan Acarya, who was lame, followed them very slowly.

CC Antya 14.91: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was running with the speed of the wind, but He suddenly became stunned in ecstasy and lost all strength to proceed further.

CC Antya 14.92: The flesh at each of His pores erupted like pimples, and His bodily hairs, standing on end, appeared like kadamba flowers.

CC Antya 14.93: Blood and perspiration flowed incessantly from every pore of His body, and He could not speak a word but simply produced a gargling sound within His throat.

CC Antya 14.94: The Lord's eyes filled and overflowed with unlimited tears, like the Ganges and Yamuna meeting in the sea.

CC Antya 14.95: His entire body faded to the color of a white conchshell, and then He began to quiver like the waves in the ocean.

CC Antya 14.96: While quivering in this way, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu fell down on the ground. Then Govinda approached Him.

CC Antya 14.97: Govinda sprinkled water from a karanga waterpot all over the Lord's body, and then, taking His own outer garment, he began to fan Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.

CC Antya 14.98: When Svarupa Damodara and the other devotees reached the spot and saw the condition of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, they began to cry.

CC Antya 14.99: All eight kinds of transcendental transformations were visible in the Lord's body. All the devotees were struck with wonder to see such a sight.

CC Antya 14.100: The devotees loudly chanted the Hare Krsna mantra near Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and washed His body with cold water.

CC Antya 14.101: After the devotees had been chanting for a long time, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu suddenly stood up and shouted, "Haribol!"

CC Antya 14.102: When Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu stood up, all the Vaisnavas loudly chanted, "Hari! Hari!" in great jubilation. The auspicious sound filled the air in all directions.

CC Antya 14.103: Astonished, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu stood up and began looking here and there, trying to see something. But He could not catch sight of it.

CC Antya 14.104: When Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu saw all the Vaisnavas, He returned to partial external consciousness and spoke to Svarupa Damodara.

CC Antya 14.105: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "Who has brought Me here from Govardhana Hill? I was seeing Lord Krsna's pastimes, but now I cannot see them.

CC Antya 14.106: "Today I went from here to Govardhana Hill to find out if Krsna was tending His cows there.

CC Antya 14.107: "I saw Lord Krsna climbing Govardhana Hill and playing His flute, surrounded on all sides by grazing cows.

CC Antya 14.108: "Hearing the vibration of Krsna's flute, Srimati Radharani and all Her gopi friends came there to meet Him. They were all very nicely dressed.

CC Antya 14.109: "When Krsna and Srimati Radharani entered a cave together, the other gopis asked Me to pick some flowers.

CC Antya 14.110: "Just then, all of you made a tumultuous sound and carried Me from there to this place.

CC Antya 14.111: "Why have you brought Me here, causing Me unnecessary pain? I had a chance to see Krsna's pastimes, but I could not see them."

CC Antya 14.112: Saying this, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu began to weep. When all the Vaisnavas saw the Lord's condition, they also wept.

CC Antya 14.113: At that time, Paramananda Puri and Brahmananda Bharati arrived. Seeing them, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu became somewhat respectful.

CC Antya 14.114: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu returned to complete external consciousness and immediately offered prayers to them. Then these two elderly gentlemen both embraced the Lord with loving affection.

CC Antya 14.115: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said to Puri Gosvami and Brahmananda Bharati, "Why have the two of you come so far?"Puri Gosvami replied, "Just to see Your dancing."

CC Antya 14.116: When He heard this, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu felt somewhat ashamed. Then He went to bathe in the sea with all the Vaisnavas.

CC Antya 14.117: After bathing in the sea, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu returned to His residence with all the devotees. Then they all lunched on the remnants of food offered to Lord Jagannatha.

CC Antya 14.118: Thus I have described the transcendental ecstatic emotions of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Even Lord Brahma cannot describe their influence.

CC Antya 14.119: In his book Gauranga-stava-kalpavrksa, Raghunatha dasa Gosvami has very vividly described Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's pastime of running toward the Cataka-parvata sand dune.

CC Antya 14.120: "Near Jagannatha Puri is a great sand dune known as Cataka-parvata. Seeing that hill, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, 'Oh, I shall go to the land of Vraja to see Govardhana Hill!' Then He began running madly toward it, and all the Vaisnavas ran after Him. This scene awakens in my heart and maddens me."

CC Antya 14.121: Who can properly describe all the uncommon pastimes of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu? They are all simply His play.

CC Antya 14.122: I have briefly described them just to give an indication of His transcendental pastimes. Nevertheless, anyone who hears this will certainly attain the shelter of Lord Krsna's lotus feet.

CC Antya 14.123: Praying at the lotus feet of Sri Rupa and Sri Raghunatha, always desiring their mercy, I, Krsnadasa, narrate Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, following in their footsteps.

Buy Online Copyright (c) The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc.
His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, Founder Acarya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness